episode 14

Raised within a conservative religious background, when Krystina Morgainne awakened in her early teens, she rebelled, attempted suicide and ran away at the age of 16 to successfully support herself and manage an office staff by the age of 17.

In this webcast, Krystina shares what she learned from her Life's journey as she went from successfully supporting herself as a runaway, managing an office while still a teenager to becoming a dancer to being the spiritual counselor & teacher she is today.

Connect with Krystina via her website, www.thepotentialwithin.com, or cell (805) 795-7557.

Raising consciousness through love... one soul at a time

On the Crisis of Faith which Led to the Suicide Attempt

I was so so good when I was young... And then when that pendulum swung, and I became a rebel, it was interesting to see everybody around me take a step back and be like, 'Who is this person?' because it was so different."

My crisis of faith was: I can't be a hypocrite. I refuse to be a hypocrite, so I'm not going to pretend to be somebody I'm not just to be loved - by my parents, or by these people. 

And being a kid with limited perception, I did not recognize that it was possible to be ok with the fact that they would never understand me, and just be myself. So I only thought there was either: 

• their way authentically becoming a Christian, which no longer was available to me, or
• which is where I went - maybe I should just leave so I don't have to face this. 

And that's what led to that suicide attempt that I had when I was about 15.

My problem was the psychiatrist they got was someone religious from their church. So I couldn't tell them what was wrong... And I just remember thinking. There's no one I can talk to about this. Because it will hurt them. And again, I was always very concerned about not hurting (my parents).

(My parents) didn't realize how deep I was. They didn't realize that I felt things so powerfully and so strongly, but also that need to be authentic was more powerful than anything.

On Being on Her Own

When we accept people as they are, it creates a space where transformation can happen. So in that space of acceptance where I am finding a job, learning to support myself, finding a place to live, I began to shine and it was easy. 

For me, it was the easiest thing in the world. That once I was out from under the oppression of a very heavy belief system, Life became an adventure and the exploration - sometimes I made big, big mistakes. You know I did some really stupid things, and I learned a great deal from each episode.

It was in Silver Lake that was a very multicultural neighborhood so the most beautiful aspect of that was ... that now all of a sudden, I got to meet a lot of people of different religions, different races, different sexualities. And what I learned is that I loved every single one of them, and everybody had something very interesting to teach me. 

And again, I was just so enthused. Life was such an adventure, that I was so exuberant. And I think people responded to that. They liked that laughter and that joy and complete openness that I brought to whatever I was doing.

Embracing One's Darkness

To realize that that's just a facet of who I am. And again, acceptance is the key, right?

We are all multi-faceted, and one thing I've discovered from my journeys and my explorations and my mistakes and my joys is that judgment is ridiculous. 

That every single person with whom has got these facets of light and dark that blend together to create something like an exquisite work of art. 

You need those contrasts, and that's a beautiful piece of where I still reside in appreciating the contrasts, and appreciating that beyond the judgment of the mind, beyond the good and bad, there is just the essence of the soul. And how does this soul express themselves on the physical plane? This is just the Divine experiencing itself through the physical experience.

On Acceptance

Dropping judgment. I accept the fact that you don't accept me. To say that by me choosing to accept people's rejection of who I am is me accepting who they are. And that's what they need. And that's what I need. 

On the Search of Who Am I? What Do I Want to Be?

I always took full responsibility. Like ok, well I made that choice now I have to fix it. I never looked for a savior or rescuer. It was always about taking that deep personal responsibility, and saying Ok, here I go.

I learned very early that concept from my parents, "Everything that isn't Christ is of the devil, and the devil is very subtle." And I remember still struggling with that. It took me probably about twenty years to fully release all of that old programming, to finally reach a point where I know my truth. And I don't expect my clients to be able to make that leap any quicker. That we all have got these childhood programming imprints and experiences that really set the stage for our struggles. 

What Dancing Taught Her

The things that I learned were a fearlessness. There's a lot to be said for dancing naked in a room full of people.

I was very deeply insecure of little aspects of my body. You know how women are, right? "Oh, my calves are too big. My breasts aren't big enough." or whatever it might be. And what I got from the the clients that particularly liked me is they accepted me. We're back to acceptance again. And because of their acceptance of me, I learned to accept myself, which is much harder. It's much easier to accept other people the way they are, but we are very, very critical about ourselves.

When you are dealing with people that have their own wounds... I found that everybody was wounded, and sometimes that darkness can pull you in. And while I never participated in things like drugs or prostitution or any of that, I was around it and saw what it did to people...We were always lifting one another other up...

There was all this darkness, and what I learned from that is that I can be a Light in the darkness. That I didn't have to get sucked into other people's drama. That I could sort of create my own reality, so that was a big strength for it.

But one thing I did think that was the dark side of it was that I still had this belief I really wasn't good enough. I wasn't good enough for a nice guy. You know because I was a bad girl. And so that really dictated a lot of choices, as far as choices in men and what I put up with. And that was something that it took me a little bit to break free from. 

But the breaking free was all about visualization about what I wanted to create. Again, an instinctive movement of spirit, where I sat down and I said, "Who do I want to be? What do I want to be?"

Tidbits of Wisdom

All experience leads us to the Divine.

When you move into the space of Authenticity, of Love, the lower vibrations can't handle it. So we find that within ourselves only by facing challenges, you don't cultivate the ability to be loving in the face of hatred, unless you have a lot of hatred to practice on, you know.

It takes time. There is no rushing a seed through its process.

Recorded November 2021